For many nurses, the road to working abroad runs through months of intense study: NCLEX for the US, Canada and Australia, the NMC CBT and OSCE for the UK, Prometric exams for the Gulf, language tests such as IELTS or OET. Add a full-time job and family responsibilities, and there’s little time left for a relationship. Couples often say exam season was one of the most stressful periods they went through together. It can also be one of the most bonding.
For the partner who is studying
- Share the plan: show your partner your study timetable and exam date so they know what to expect.
- Explain why it matters to you and to your shared future.
- Protect small moments: a shared meal, a 20-minute walk, a goodnight call. Put them in your study plan.
- Say thank you often. Your partner is likely carrying extra chores, childcare or emotional load.
- Don’t take stress out on them. If you snap, apologise.
- Share wins: “I scored 70% on today’s practice test!” It lets them celebrate with you.
For the supporting partner
- Ask how you can help: some people want quiet, others want someone to quiz them with flashcards.
- Take on practical tasks: cooking, school runs, laundry, handling visitors.
- Guard their study time from family interruptions where you can.
- Encourage rest: sleep, food and exercise improve memory more than an extra hour of cramming.
- Don’t compare them to others who passed quickly.
- Look after yourself too: your needs still matter. Talk to friends, keep your hobbies.
Agree on the money
Exam fees, review courses, credential evaluations and travel to test centres can be expensive, sometimes thousands of dollars. Agree openly how these will be funded, what happens if a resit is needed, and how it affects household spending. See our guide to money and marriage.
Romance on a study schedule
- A weekly “no books” evening or afternoon.
- Study side by side: one reads while the other studies; physical closeness matters.
- Little notes in a textbook or a lunchbox.
- Plan a celebration for after the exam, something to look forward to together.
- Touch: a hug before a study session, a shoulder massage after.
Exam day
Help with the practical things: documents ready (passport, authorisation letters), transport arranged, a good breakfast. Keep the mood calm. A simple message such as “Whatever happens, I’m proud of you” can mean more than you know.
If the result is a fail
Many successful nurses failed an exam at least once. When it happens:
- Allow disappointment. Don’t rush to “fix” it or say “it’s just an exam”.
- Avoid blame: “I told you to study more” helps no one.
- Look at the feedback together when ready (e.g. NCLEX candidate performance report, OSCE station feedback) and make a new plan.
- Reassess finances and timelines as a team.
- Watch for signs of depression in the person who failed, and encourage support if needed.
When you both are studying
Nurse couples often prepare for exams together. Make it a team effort: quiz each other, share resources, but respect different learning styles and paces. Avoid competition; if one passes first, celebrate and then support the other.
After the exam
Celebrate! Then take time to reconnect. Exam seasons can leave couples feeling like housemates; plan a date, talk about your hopes for the next chapter, and thank each other for getting through it together.
Study resources: NCLEX study plan · NMC CBT and OSCE preparation · Prometric exam tips
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