Whether you work in Lagos, London, Manila, Toronto or Riyadh, some parts of nursing are the same everywhere. If you find yourself nodding at most of this list, you are definitely one of us. Share it with the nurse who will laugh the loudest.
On shift
- “Lunch” happens at 4pm, standing up, in four bites.
- You can hold your bladder for 12 hours, but not for the 10-minute drive home.
- You never, ever say “it’s quiet”. Not even as a joke.
- You have walked 15,000 steps and never left one corridor.
- You can hear a pump alarm from three rooms away, through a closed door, over a conversation.
- Your pockets contain: three pens (none yours), tape, alcohol swabs, a flush, a sweet and a mystery note with a bed number on it.
- Someone has taken your pen. Someone will always take your pen.
- The patient who says “I’m fine, I don’t want to bother you” is the one you check on twice.
- Handover at 7am feels like a whole shift in 30 minutes.
- You have run to an emergency, then calmly walked into the room so nobody would panic.
The nurse brain
- You judge people’s veins on public transport.
- You know exactly how much fluid is in a cup without measuring.
- You tell time in 24-hour clock, even at a birthday party.
- “Stat”, “PRN” and “NBM” have crept into your text messages.
- You read the ingredients on everything because of someone’s allergy you once saw.
- Gross stories at dinner seem completely normal to you. To nobody else at the table.
- Your hand-washing could win an award.
- You have diagnosed half of a TV medical drama’s patients before the doctors do.
Life outside work
- Your friends text you photos of rashes.
- Your family calls you before they call the clinic.
- You sleep through daylight like a champion and lie awake at 2am on your night off.
- Weekends are a myth. Your weekend is Tuesday and Wednesday.
- You have celebrated Christmas, birthdays and New Year on a ward, and somehow made it fun.
- Your scrubs are more comfortable than anything else you own.
- You have fallen asleep in your car in the hospital car park.
The heart of it
- You have cried in a sluice room, wiped your face and gone straight back out.
- You remember certain patients for years, and you will never forget their names.
- A colleague who brings you a cup of tea at 3am is a true friend.
- The best thank-you is a patient walking out of the hospital.
- Even on the worst days, you would still choose nursing.
How many did you get? Tell us which one is the most “you” in the comments, and tag a nurse who needs a laugh today.
If it is number 26 more often than you would like, read our guide to self-care after a hard shift.
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