The end of a relationship can feel like grief. A broken engagement, a divorce, or a long-distance relationship that didn’t survive the move abroad can leave you exhausted, anxious and unable to concentrate, and nurses still have to show up, give medicines, and comfort others. Heartbreak is painful but survivable. Here’s how to care for yourself through it.
Why it hurts so much
Researchers studying romantic rejection have found that it activates brain areas linked to physical pain and to craving. It’s no wonder people describe heartbreak as an ache in the chest, and feel drawn to check their ex’s social media or reach out again. Sleep, appetite and concentration often suffer. These reactions are normal and usually ease with time.
The first few weeks
- Allow yourself to grieve. Cry, write, pray, talk. Pretending you’re fine often prolongs the pain.
- Lean on people: friends, family, colleagues you trust. Let them help.
- Look after the basics: eat regular meals, drink water, sleep, move your body. Nurses know this advice; follow it.
- Limit contact while the wound is fresh: mute or unfollow on social media if seeing their posts keeps you stuck.
- Avoid numbing with alcohol or other substances.
- Don’t make big decisions immediately (like quitting your job or moving country) unless necessary.
Getting through shifts
- Consider telling your manager or a trusted colleague that you’re going through a hard time; you don’t need to give details.
- Be extra careful with high-risk tasks like drug calculations when you’re tired or distracted. Ask for double-checks.
- Take your breaks; step away if you need a moment.
- Use your employer’s employee assistance programme or occupational health if you have access.
If you work with your ex
Keep interactions professional and brief, avoid discussing the break-up on the ward, and talk to your manager about rota changes if needed. See our guide on workplace romance.
Making sense of it
Once the first shock passes, reflect gently: what did you learn about what you need in a partner, and what you will and won’t accept? Avoid harsh self-blame. Relationships end for many reasons, and one ending doesn’t define your worth or your future.
Rebuilding
- Reconnect with friends and activities you may have neglected.
- Invest in yourself: a course, a new skill, fitness, travel, faith.
- Date again when you feel ready, not to fill a gap.
When to seek help
If, after a few weeks, you have persistent low mood, can’t function at work or home, are using alcohol or drugs to cope, or have any thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to a doctor, counsellor or crisis line. If the relationship involved abuse, specialist support can help you heal safely. See our guides on healthy relationships vs red flags and burnout.
More on love and relationships: Dating as a nurse · Handling family pressure
General wellbeing information, not a substitute for professional help. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services or a local helpline.