Families are proud of their nurses. They also don’t always understand what the job takes. If you love a nurse, this list is for you. If you are a nurse, send it to the people you wish understood.
1. Missing family events isn’t a choice
Rotas are made weeks in advance and swaps are hard to find. When we miss a birthday, wedding or holiday dinner, we’re sad about it too. Saving us a plate, or celebrating on another day, means more than you know.
2. “Tired” means really, deeply tired
A 12-hour shift is often 13 or 14 hours with travel, mostly on our feet, with very few breaks. On our first day off, we may need to do nothing at all. It isn’t laziness. It’s recovery.
3. Sleeping during the day after nights is essential
Please don’t call at 11am to ask a “quick question” after a night shift. Daytime sleep is light and easily broken, and it is how we stay safe for the next shift.
4. We can’t always talk about work
Patient confidentiality is a legal and professional duty. If we say “it was a hard day” and nothing more, it isn’t that we don’t trust you. Sometimes we simply can’t share.
5. Sometimes we need quiet when we get home
After hours of alarms, conversations and decisions, silence can be the best gift. Give us a few minutes before the questions start.
6. We are not your on-call healthcare provider
We love helping, and we’ll always tell you when something sounds serious. But we can’t diagnose a rash from a blurry photo at midnight, and we can’t prescribe. Sometimes the best advice we can give is “Please see a healthcare provider”.
7. We carry things home with us
We see people at their sickest and sometimes at the end of their lives. Some days stay with us. If we seem low, a hug and a cup of tea help more than “Just forget about it”.
8. Our pay isn’t as big as people think
Especially for nurses working abroad, there is often pressure to send money home. We want to help, but we also have rent, bills, exams and our own future to think about. Talking openly about money helps everyone. Read our piece on remittances and family support.
9. Moving abroad was hard, even if our photos look happy
New country, new system, new exams, no family nearby. Behind the smiling photos there is often loneliness and homesickness. Regular calls and patience matter.
10. We worry about you more than we say
Because we see what happens when health problems are ignored, we nag. Please go for your check-ups, take your blood pressure medicine and stop smoking. We say it because we love you.
11. We are proud of our job
Nursing is a skilled profession with years of training. “Why didn’t you become a doctor?” isn’t a compliment. Nursing was our choice, and we are good at it.
12. Your support keeps us going
A text before a big shift, a meal waiting after nights, someone picking up the children when we’re stuck at work: these small things are what keep many nurses in the profession.
Tag a family member who supports you through every shift, and say thank you.
For partners, read keeping a marriage strong around shift work.
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