15 Things Not to Say to a Nurse (and What to Say Instead)

Most people mean well. But nurses hear some of the same comments so often, from patients, friends and even family, that they have become a running joke in the profession. Here are 15 things not to say to a nurse, and what to say instead.

1. Don’t say: “Why didn’t you become a doctor?”
   Say instead: “What made you choose nursing?” Nursing is its own profession, not a lesser version of medicine.
2. Don’t say: “It must be quiet today.”
   Say instead: nothing. Just never say “quiet”.
3. Don’t say: “So you just give out tablets and make beds?”
   Say instead: “What does a typical shift look like for you?” You’ll be amazed.
4. Don’t say: “You’re a nurse, can you look at this?” (followed by a photo of a rash at a party)
   Say instead: “Should I get this checked by a healthcare provider?” Then actually go.
5. Don’t say: “Nurses are so lucky, you only work three days a week.”
   Say instead: “How do you recover after long shifts?” Three 12-hour shifts is still a full-time week, often with nights and weekends.
6. Don’t say: “I could never do your job, it’s so gross.”
   Say instead: “I really admire what you do.”
7. Don’t say: “You must be used to death by now.”
   Say instead: “That must be hard sometimes.” Nurses never get completely used to it.
8. Don’t say: “Are you a real nurse?”
   Say instead: “What’s your role on the ward?” There are many roles in healthcare, and every one matters.
9. Don’t say: “Can you get me a doctor? I want someone qualified.”
   Say instead: “Could you tell me what’s happening?” Nurses are highly trained and can often answer your question straight away, or will find the right person.
10. Don’t say: “You get paid to care. You should love it.”
    Say instead: “Thank you for looking after us.”
11. Don’t say: “Male nurse? That’s unusual.”
    Say instead: “Nurse.” Men have always been part of nursing, and they’re a growing part of the workforce.
12. Don’t say: “You’re too young (or too old) to be a nurse.”
    Say instead: “How long have you been nursing?”
13. Don’t say: “When are you leaving to go abroad like everyone else?”
    Say instead: “What are your plans for your career?” Whether nurses stay or go is a personal decision.
14. Don’t say: “Can’t you just swap your shift?”
    Say instead: “When are you free? We’ll plan around you.”
15. Don’t: leave without a word.
    Say instead: “Thank you.” Two words. They make a huge difference.

Nurses: what’s the most annoying thing you’ve been asked? Share it in the comments, and send this to the friend who still asks about your rash photos.

Want to say something lovely to a nurse? Try our thank-you messages for nurses.