The best time to work on a marriage is before the wedding. Premarital counselling helps couples talk about what really matters while things are calm.
Imagine discovering, a year after your wedding, that your partner expected to send half your salary to family, or never wanted children. Premarital counselling brings these conversations forward.
What it is
Premarital counselling is a short series of sessions with a trained counsellor, therapist or faith leader before marriage. Many couples have four to eight sessions.
Topics it usually covers
- Money, debt, saving and supporting family
- Children and parenting styles
- Roles at home and work
- In-laws and extended family
- Faith and values
- Sex and intimacy
- How you handle conflict
Questions you might discuss
- How will we decide on big purchases?
- How will we split chores if one of us works shifts?
- How will we handle disagreements with in-laws?
- Where do we see ourselves in five years?
Finding someone
- Licensed or registered counsellors with couples training
- Faith-based programmes through your church, mosque or other community
- Online programmes and workshops
Frequently asked questions
Is it only for religious couples?
No. Secular counsellors also offer premarital sessions.
Does it mean we have problems?
No. It is preparation, like learning to drive before taking a car on the road.
But we already know each other well
Even close couples are surprised by what comes up. It is better to find out now.
Your next step: Pick three topics from the list and talk about them together this week.
Sources: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Relate, Gottman Institute research summaries.
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