Long shifts, irregular meals, pregnancy, illness and ageing all change our bodies. Social media constantly shows filtered, edited images. Many people, nurses included, end up feeling self-conscious, avoiding photos, swimming, or intimacy with their partner. Negative body image can quietly damage confidence and relationships. The good news: how we feel about our bodies can change, even when our bodies don’t.
Where negative body image comes from
- Comments from family and friends (“You’ve added weight o!” “You’re too skinny”).
- Cultural ideals that differ and shift: colourism, pressure to be slim, pressure to be curvy.
- Social media comparison.
- Life changes: pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause, surgery, scars, hair loss.
- Shift work affecting sleep, appetite and exercise.
- Past teasing or abuse.
How it affects relationships
- Avoiding intimacy or wanting lights off.
- Needing constant reassurance, or rejecting compliments.
- Jealousy and comparison with others.
- Avoiding social events, beaches, or photos together.
Building self-acceptance
- Notice your self-talk. Would you speak to a patient or friend the way you speak to yourself? Replace “I look disgusting” with something kinder and more neutral.
- Appreciate what your body does: it carries you through 12-hour shifts, lifts patients, hugs your children.
- Curate social media: unfollow accounts that make you feel worse; follow diverse, realistic bodies.
- Wear clothes that fit and feel good now, not “when I lose weight”.
- Move for joy and health, not punishment: dancing, walking, sport.
- Nourish rather than restrict. See eating well on 12-hour shifts.
Talking with your partner
Tell your partner how you’re feeling, so they don’t misinterpret avoidance as rejection. Most partners see us far more lovingly than we see ourselves.
For partners: what helps
- Genuine, specific compliments that aren’t only about appearance.
- Never criticising or joking about their body, including in front of others.
- Not comparing them with others.
- Affection and touch that communicates acceptance.
- Patience: reassurance helps, but lasting change comes from within.
Health versus appearance
Caring about health is good. If you want to change your weight or fitness for health reasons, focus on sustainable habits and speak to a health professional. Avoid extreme diets, slimming teas, skin bleaching products and unregulated pills, which can be dangerous.
When to seek help
If body concerns dominate your thoughts, or you’re restricting food, bingeing, purging or over-exercising, please talk to a doctor or mental health professional. Eating disorders affect people of all genders, ages, sizes and cultures, and they are treatable.
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