What Nobody told you about Self-talk (Part 1)
Ever found yourself musing out loud at work or just any random place? (I definitely know I have). So, here is the question, Is self-talk normal? Well let us see, I am walking down the street then I suddenly start asking myself where I dropped the house keys or maybe I suddenly start telling myself how much I have prepared for an interview before it is my turn, do you think that is normal? I mean if you catch me talking to myself you will not give me that weird “are you going crazy?” look? Of course, you would! I mean I used to think I was weird before I found out. You are probably wondering found out what? I mean before I found out that self-talk was completely normal! Yes, completely normal, healthy and even beneficial. Now, let us look at a couple of way that self-talk is beneficial to you:
- It helps you find things quicker: Now back to the keys, so you are walking down the streets and you suddenly cannot remember where you kept your house keys. So, you start musing over where you last saw it, how you dropped it your purse or how you carefully put it in your back pocket. Suddenly you remember you left it at your friend’s place. Research suggests this works because hearing the name of what you are looking for reminds your brain and helps you visualize it.
- It helps you deal with your emotions: Sometimes we feel so burdened or disturbed by your emotions, but you still can not bring yourself to tell anyone. Those times, you are the best person you can talk to; whether it is writing it in your diary or saying it out loud, you get to share your burden with you. Saying things aloud help you ground them, it helps come face to face your fears making them less upsetting and diminishes their impact.
- It can serve as a source of motivation: Positive self-talk goes a long way in motivating through challenging or down times. Saying encouraging words to your self reinforce them more than when you say it in your head. A 2014 research suggests that this works better when you refer to yourself in a second- or third-person pronoun so rather than saying “I can do this” say “Dona you are doing great” or “you’ve gone this far, you can go all through”.
Speaking harshly to yourself will do more harm than good instead reframing negative self-talk can help motivate you. So instead of saying “you’re too lazy, you’ll never finish this” say “you’ve started this though you’re not going as fast as others, just a little more effort and you’ll be an achiever”.
Also questioning yourself helps you think twice before deciding. Self-talk also helps you examine your feelings and thoughts better, it helps you understand you more. Do not be scared to let it all out when you are talking to yourself remember it is just you and you.
Trying to control your self-talk?
Sometimes we get used to talking ourselves we do it unconsciously almost every time and everywhere, even though its completely normal it may start to interfere with your social life. So how do we keep our self-talk in check?
- Keep a diary or journal: writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you brainstorm potential solutions and keep track of your progress. So, get a journal, take it wherever you are going and pull it out when you need to write something down.
- Keep your mouth busy: Chewing gum or sucking on hard candy whenever you catch yourself talking out loud helps or even stopping yourself with a bottle of water or drink.
- Ask other people instead: whenever you stuck in a task whether at school or at work, try asking someone else instead of trying to solve the puzzle yourself. you might even get a better solution remember two heads are better than one.
Remember when you catch yourself self-talking do not be embarrassed, instead brush it off casually “just trying to find my pen” or something like that.
In the next article I will talk about when a psychological disorder known as schizophrenia , where self-talk accompanied with hallucinations is a key symptom.
Me: I should tell them
My head: Do not tell them, it’s our thing
Me: I will tell them anyway
Wait! I decided to share a little secret, who knows it might help someone. So, anytime I cannot seem to keep my emotions in check, when my level of frustration is at its peak here is what I do. I sit in front in of a mirror, admire myself for a while then let it all out. I tell the girl in the mirror every single one of my emotions and I always leave the mirror feeling a lot better. The girl in mirror works her magic every time I go to her, she always makes feel me better. So maybe, your mirror twin might be of help next time you need to let it all out. Ok now bye for real.